Mike Graham does not observe Daylight Savings Time. “Daylight Savings Time is a time-wasting, bureaucratic myth conceived by ‘The Man’ to keep guys like me under their thumb.”
Mike Graham, like Gandalf and Chuck Norris, is never late or early. He arrives precisely when he means to, Daylight Savings Time be damned.
PS – Arizona and Hawaii are a bunch of posers trying to be like Mike Graham.
Mike Graham is Bad. and Dangerous. I did not know this, but according to an extremely reliable source, “He is, after all, a highly trained instrument of death and dismemberment.”
So watch out. He just might kick you the face…from across the office.
UPDATE: He received his training from a secretive branch of Opus Dei who had traveled to Japan to master ninjutsu. This is all because he is a plant of the Illumianti to take over the tech sphere of the US legal world.
Mike Graham is in Detroit right now. Right now, literally.
As you are reading this, know that Mike is in Detroit right now.
Mike Graham was really born on Feb 8th, but his parents being both avid fans of Laura Ingalls Wilder had his birth certificate changed to the 7th.
Mike has mixed feelings about this. He wants to respect his parents, but, being an avid Gary Coleman fan, he also wants to share his birthday on the 8th. As a result, Mike usually has 2 birthdays every year.
Mike Graham was born without the empathy gene. He cares not about other people’s disasters. When the Tsunami hit, Mike was watching baseball; Katrina, eating ice cream. During the NY Blackout of 2003, Mike went to the cinema. Yesterday, a major disaster hit the main office and Mike downgraded it to a minor nuisance.
Oh Mike. Don’t you know that 10 minutes without Facebook constitutes calling FEMA.
Mike likes to walk up behind people and put smiley face stickers on their shoulders. He hopes to one day sit in the back of a meeting and have nothing but smiling faces staring back at him.
I think he might actually smile for the first time in his life when this happens.
For fun, Mike likes to meet random strangers who are on crystal meth. He usually finds them at bus stops in Vegas.
Mike Graham will peel any label off of anything.
We haven’t figured out if this is “frustration” or he just hates brands, but Mike doesn’t allow a label to stay on anything he owns for more than 5 minutes. Within seconds of purchasing beer, CDs, a TV, or a new car, the labels marking the brand are on the floor in a heap. Unsolved mystery.
Mike Graham has an overwhelming affinity for the band Asia. He has pretty much every Asia collectible out there.
Mike had never even heard of the band Asia before 2002, but when he heard Heat of the Moment, he immediately went out and purchased their full discography. He has been building his own personal Asia museum ever since. Despite this impressive collection, Heat of the Moment remains to be the only song in which he knows the lyrics.
Mike Graham refuses to eat at Chik-fil-A because he has an irrational fear of cows.
Some people refuse to visit Chik-fil-A based on their support of anti-gay movements. Mike Graham, however, refuses to go near Chik-fil-A because of his irrational fear of cows. Ever since their cow-based ad campaign launched, he won’t even eat their food. He understands they sell no cow products, yet it makes no difference.
